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Who´s up for Candyland? $20 buy in
It’s called karma, and it’s pronounced “haha! Screw you!”
Don`t judge if you don`t know me. Unless you`re making my pizza & you say "This guy looks like he wants extra cheese" then please do..
So no pizza place on Ninja Turtles ever questioned the delivery address being “The Sewer”
Studies confirm that smoking withdrawal (for me) can be fatal (for you).
Some mornings it`s best just to fill the sink with coffee, dunk you head in, and suck.
Video Game Logic: Everyone worse than me is my bitch and everyone better than me has no life.
The trick to successfully backing out of a parking space is to not care what happens to you or anyone else.
I just bought a medical alert bracelet that says ... "Probably just sh!tfaced."
I`ll give up my thesaurus when you pry it from my frigid, frosty, frozen, cadaverous, lifeless, stiff, defunct extremities.
I`m hoping to avoid a situation where I have to dance to save my own life.
Remember when you thought you’d have it all together by the time you were the age you are now? LOL
Roses are red, violets are blue. I hate you bye
You know that old saying? If you seen one woman naked. You want to see all women naked.
Was hating my job until I drove past a grown man dressed as a Taco on the side of the road. Thanks again Perspective