Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It’s proving very difficult to find a shop selling “Left Guard” for my other armpit…
Alcoholic? No. Self-appointed booze quality control technician? Yes.
I`ve eaten enough chinese food in my day that my fortune cookies have started to contradict one another
I don`t know how many girls it takes to change a light bulb, but I guarantee we`d post pictures of us doing it on Facebook.
The more I drink, the more I realize how much more I still want to drink.
I am going to write a book about A.D.D., because .. I love fishing. -LOL
WHAT DO WE WANT!!! A cure for hangovers WHEN DO WE WANT IT!!! Please stop yelling
If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
Studies confirm that smoking withdrawal (for me) can be fatal (for you).
If kids are so wonderful why do you have to pay people to watch them?
I got in the shower with my slippers still on this morning. Is this the start of dementia or the continuum of stupidity I wonder?
I’m not a comedian. I don’t tell jokes. I just tell the truth in a way it sounds funny.
It`s never your successful friends posting inspirational quotes on Facebook.
Be nice to your kids. They get to choose your nursing home.
Someone smells like cigarettes and bad decisions.......Oh it`s me? Sorry about that.