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Whoever determined that a 1-inch candy bar should be called “fun sized” should really re-evaluate their standards for entertainment.
Tomorrow is International "Cook a Steak and Then Throw It to a Seagull" Day. Get involved. Don`t question it.
you need a license to drive, but anyone can have a kid.
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.
If by sexy you mean me licking the donut icing off my fingers then yes I can be damn sexy.
Groundhog Day, Just walked outside and saw my shadow, It`s now official, Six more weeks of dieting :/
What if the weather talks about us?
My cat is wearing a cone & has learned to scoop up his food and let it slide into his mouth and it`s giving me serious ideas, folks
Why is it never opportunity that`s knocking? Instead, it`s usually cops with a warrant...
Stop, drop, and roll isn`t just an effective fire safety tip, but it is also an interesting way to get out of a boring conversation.
Getting older is pretty much just paying bills and finally understanding why killers in horror flicks target teenagers.
Been reading up on the thesaurus lately because a mind is a terrible thing to garbage.
Getting another set of teeth would be much more useful at age 60 than age 6.
If zombies ever attack just go to Costco...they have concrete walls...years of foods and supplies...and best of all the zombies can`t get in without a Costco membership card.