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Doctor told me I need glasses. So I`m having several tonite.
Your car took up two spaces, I tried to move it over with my key.
Stress balls work really well when you shove them down someone`s throat.
Holy crap! I just realized that I´m still it from a game of tag in 1987.
My last post deserves WAY more likes than that....let`s go people....chop chop!
I`ve just released my own fragrance...No one on the bus seems to like it though.
I would like to congratulate my ex`s new boyfriend on giving up blow jobs.
“Taking candy from a baby” would actually be a responsible thing to do.
There`s no mirrors in this self checkout?!?
Take my advice, I’m not going to use it.
After 6 years, is it still all Bush`s fault or has it been reduced to "Unfortunate circumstances under no one`s control"?..............
I never let anyone see me eat junk food. Not because I`m afraid they will judge me. I just don`t want to share.
When the machines rise up against the humans, just pray to your God that you`re nowhere near a dildo factory.
If you still can read this, please inform me ASAP because I have probably blocked the wrong person!
It would be funny if the husband is actually sleeping with the Jake from state Farm.