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Well kids, texting wasn`t always easy. In my day, you had to work for it. You had to want it. You need an S? You had to click that 7 button FOUR TIMES.
We all have that one friend who always gives the best relationship advice , but is still single.
In all my years, I have never finished a pencil.
If you`re married and having trouble, ask "what would Jesus do?" then remember that jesus was never married.
The worst thing about parallel parking is witnesses...
I`m leaving my body to science because even scientists need a good laugh now and then.
If I can see you, you`re invading my personal space.
Carfax but for people
"I`ve never seen an angry stoner, see angry drunks all the time!" Clearly you`ve never tried to take a stoner`s nachos away.
Half the time spent on Facebook is likely spent by creeping people and /or staring at the screen waiting for something interesting to happen.
I would like to learn one of those clicking languages from Africa because I get the feeling my knees are trying to tell me something.
There`s been a whole lot of office Romance since I became self employed...
How much would you have to pay a teacher to flunk your kid so he has to go to Summer School? Just planning ahead...
I wish there was a room where we could go and see all the stuff we have ever lost.
My idea of drinking responsibly is using a coaster.