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I`m going to buy a new dictionary. After watching Final Destination 5, I clearly don`t understand the meaning of Final.
I just watched a puppy do something really cute. It was like a real life YouTube video.
Like this if you can’t think of a clever status either.
Change is always hard.... Especially when a jar of it falls on your head.
After months of uninterrupted analysis, I am now prepared to conclude that, indeed, my laundry is not going to fold itself.
People assume I’m smart when they see my glasses case. Then they see that I use it to store a Snickers bar and they recognize my true genius.
Alcohol doesn`t make you fat, it makes you lean..........against tables, chairs, walls, and garbage cans.
I guess today has been pretty good. I haven`t had to slap one single person yet....
Well I made it through the day without beating anyone with a chair. I`d say my people skills are improving.
Cheers to alcohol! The cause of, and solution, to all of life’s problems!
I hate it when people upload song lyrics as their status`s it reminds me of somebody i used to know
Never marry a tennis player " love means nothing to them "
One man’s LOL is another man’s WTF.
Vodka can be mixed with anything, including more vodka.
Money isn´t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.