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At the end of the day, it`s 11:59pm.
Hey! Did any of you see my........ Oh ! Never mind... :D How much of you said that before? heee heee hee!
None of the animals I designed and invented are at the zoo. Do they even check the suggestion box?
You know what’s worse than slow internet? NOTHING.
I think 90% of the software on my computer doesn`t do anything except send me notices that there`s a new version of itself.
To understand paranoid people better, follow them around. Observe them. Write down notes.
is wondering why books on "how to make women happy" arent displayed in the fiction section
This beer is making me awesome !! ;)
In the interest of improving the workplace, my company has put up signs that say: CAUTION. OPEN DOORS SLOWLY ... My best time so far is 7 min.
I`d say that most of my mistakes can be traced back to when I decided to get out of bed. ... just sayin! ;)
Apparently, driving past police cars while drinking water from an old vodka bottle isn`t `funny` and is technically `wasting` police time :(
My goal today is to turn actions into thoughts.
Me in a shopping mall: "I like that stuff" *looks at pricetag* "i don`t like it anymore"
I`m that friend you have to explain to people before you introduce me... And apologize for after.
To all the girls who think all guys are the same: Who told you to try them all? Whore.