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My idea of heaven consists of all of the things I’d go to hell for.
My girlfriend and I have an open relationship and will continue to do so right up until she finds out.
I think my front door faces the wrong direction. People keep finding it.
Please rephrase your question in the form of a compliment.
I see your arguement contains a lot of swear words, you must really know what you`re talking about
I hate when I´m laughing & my a$$ falls off.
When I was a kid, I really thought piranhas were going to be pretty much a daily concern.
Be careful who you call friends. I`d rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies.
Worried that you may have a stalker? Shut up and just be happy someone likes you.
There could be literally thousands of chameleons in your house right now and you don`t even know it.
My car rides usually consist of playing my music on random, then pressing “next” about 400 times.
You’d be amazed how often I’m wrong when people say guess what.
When non-smokers come to My house....I ask them to stand outside while I have a smoke
"I love you unconditionally*." -God *certain terms and conditions apply. See Bible for more details.
I don`t get in trouble, I just get into questionable situations.