Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Are you watching too much T.V but not doing enough reading? Turn your subtitles on.
Your secret is safe with me as long as it`s boring.
I dance like people wish they weren`t watching.
Why does `beans` only mean secret when it`s "Don`t spill the beans?" Why can`t I say I have a dirty little beans to tell you?
Sociologists say that social media is creating the laziest generation ever. I expressed my opinion in great detail by hitting the “Like” button.
People say that 60 is the new 40. The cop who pulled me over didn`t agree.
It never ceases to amaze me that the little space between the driver’s seat and the center console in my car will fit any object that can possibly be dropped, but will not fit a hand.
Why be full of hate when you can be full of pizza?
To-Do List : Nothing[?]
Mondays feel like biting into a chocolate chip cookie only to find out it`s oatmeal raisin.
Shouting "Shotgun" will get you the front seat of a car or a heap of cash if you whisper it to a cashier.
When I was growing up, I was taught to walk and talk and when I was grown, I was told to sit down and STFU!!!
The longer I sit in this drive-thru, the more pennies I’m going to pay with.
Why has no one invented a button next to snooze which emails your boss to say you`re gonna be late?
Why do people walk by and say "Hi, how are you?" but they don`t stop long enough for you to reply!