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And then her mood ring just...exploded
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.
I’ve been a sucker for boobies since the day I was born.
Starting tomorrow, whatever life throws at me, I`m ducking so it hits someone else!
According to a recent survey, 98% of people responded with "Go away."
This haunted house sucks. It`s just people sitting in cubicles under fluorescent lights looking sad. Wait, I`m at work, sorry.
Why can’t I lose weight easily I mean I lose everything else without a problem.
I just bought all six seasons of Hoarders on DVD
The world would be a better place if we all got along like the "Price is Right" audience.
It`s that time of year again, to reflect and remember how much I love my tax deductions. Kids... I meant my kids.
Tonight I’m going to have my favorite drink. It’s called “a lot.”
I bet if there were little basketball hoops above every garbage can, littering would greatly decrease.
Emails from your boss assigning you work do not qualify as cyber bullying. I checked.
This getting older thing really sucks. These days my eyes are so bad I have to buy the Large Print edition of Alphabet Soup.
Sorry, I didn’t mean to text you a graphic description of my explosive diarrhea. Stupid autocorrect.