Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Telling someone they shouldn`t be sad because others have it worse is like telling someone they shouldn`t be happy because others have it better.
I’m the kind of girl that would eat Doritos on her wedding day & accidentally wipe her hands on her dress.
If Freud was alive today he would probably be awesome at telling "Yo Momma" jokes.
Guests are coming over for Thanksgiving... Almost time to booby trap the medicine cabinet with marbles.
slugs are snails that are going through a divorce
If you hear sirens and see some naked dude with jeans on his head running down the street, be sure to throw me a beer.
Sad life : After watching 2 seconds of Spongebob I already know what episode it is ... I`m 41
I wasn`t going to get so many groceries, but there was a new girl working today and she took my check.
Why doesn`t someone invent a clear toaster? Then you could see how toasted your toast is while it`s toasting.
The girl next door looks over at me, then her phone, then makes a disgusted look on her face. I think she`s just found my Facebook account
OK. So I took the road less traveled. Now where the hell am I?
FACT: There’s always room for another cupcake.
Why don`t they make Neapolitan ice cream but with 3 better flavors?
5 symptoms of laziness –> 1.
Procrastination............I`ll make a joke about it later.