Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
They say you have real problems if you hear disembodied voices; fortunately all my imaginary friends have bodies.
I`m just a few smartphone apps away from never having to talk to anyone again.
Maybe vodka is addicted to me
Every time I get an eyelash in my eye, I`m reminded of how quickly I would die in the wild
My husband is not allowed to help with math anymore. Apperently 4 = 6.5 in his reality.
I love buying a $1 burger and getting $2 worth of mayo...
That awkward moment when you buy a pack of condoms and your wife ask. what you gonna do with those?
I still dunno why they say cats have 9 lives. My cat only eats & sleeps all day long. It has no life at all!
I hear there is scientific proof that birthdays are good for you... the more you have the longer you live.
Life hack: You can park wherever you want if you put your hazard lights on and take your tire off.
I wish that we lived in a world where a chicken could cross the road without getting its motives questioned.
“You look tired” is just a polite way to tell someone they look like sh*t.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I hate you bye
Can you LIKE this status with your elbow? (no cheating)
How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but the more important question is, how did they get in there in the first place?