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If sex is said to be the best exercise, than why are there no fitness clubs for that. Now there`s idea. . .
feels like getting some work done ... so I am sitting down until the feeling passes.
What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig ? The letter F ?
I just read last year 4,153,237 people got married. I don’t want to start any trouble, but shouldn’t that be an even number? ...hmm
Car horns were invented 1% for safety and 99% because people get pissed off sometimes and need to let a mofo know.
The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn`t for any religious reasons. They couldn`t find three wise men and a virgin.
I just read that Lindsay Lohan is headed for rehab. It`s like 2008 all over again. Or 2009. Or 2010. Or 2011. Or 2012
I drink because people talk.
Man what a day. I pulled my groin...for like 20 minutes.
Inventor of camping: "Hey, let`s go pretend to be homeless."
I`m back in the HR office today. In my defense my coworker very plainly said "stick a fork in me, I`m done"
A magic eraser, but for my bar tab.
why don`t we get discounts for ringing up our own groceries in self checkout?
Our mailman freaked out when he accidentally saw me naked ... So did all the other people at the post office.
Today’s Generation: “Omg my parents never let me have anything.” via iPhone.