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Dear guys: Women don`t want pictures of your d!ck. Maybe try sending a screenshot of your bank statement and see where things go.
Just curious, when pirates use text, IM or twitter, do they used emoticons` like .) .P .D or .( or do they try to fool us by using the two eyed ones?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It`s not so much blowing my diet as preventing the fudgesicles from developing freezer burn.
I was feeling down...then all of a sudden I felt myself up. Win, win situation! ;)
Helpful tip #12: Never buy all the tools you need to kidnap, kill and bury someone from just one store.
Acting like a mature adult is super easy if you hate having fun.
Forgets to set alarm, wakes up 3 days later.
What idiot called it a contraction and not a birthquake?
If a vegan does crossfit which do they talk about first?
Decided to get in touch with my feminine side today... I made myself a sandwich!
Alcohol does not make you fat. It makes you lean. Mostly against walls, tables, chairs, bars, floors & occasionally, weirdos ..
I just did some calculations and I`ve been able to determine that you`re full of sh!t.
Be nice to a nerd. Prevent a supervillain.
If two donuts are stuck together it counts as one right?