Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
In honor of St. Patrick`s Day, I`m going to create a hybrid of a four leaf clover and poison ivy and give myself a rash of good luck
I decided I`m going to be poor... Its Cheaper :)
A wife is like a hand grenade. Remove the ring, and your house is gone.
You`ve really got to hand it to short people, because sometimes they often can`t reach it.
My wife said we could have a three way "when pigs fly" so I showed her a police helicopter.
Wish my husband got a check from the NFL for all the refereeing he does from his recliner...
I get worried when someone posts a kitten pic with a foreign language, I don`t know if they`re showing a cute kitty pet or their dinner.
"Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas."
Before Google, I averaged 220 Snapple bottles before I found the answer.
If I ever post something on Social media sites that`s not funny or clever, That just means someone hacked my account, Just Saying!
Wow bro, that pot leaf tattoo on your neck really makes the colors of your Burger King uniform pop.
The only thing my girlfriend blows is everything out of proportion.
Remember, time is more powerful than You!!! One tree makes a million matchsticks......But when the time comes........Only 1 match stick is needed to burn a million trees......
The best part of being single is that you always get to be right.
There`s no way that whatever mothballs prevent is worse than the smell of mothballs.