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May you never be as bored as whoever figured out that holding a seashell to your ear sounds like the ocean
I`m not sure if I actually have free time or there are things I`m forgetting to do.
I`m running low on funny but I have plenty of sexy left.
It`s like nobody ever considers the consequences of getting to know me.
Girls are like guitars: easy to strum, hard to tune
When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
Video games are cool because they let you experience fantastical power-fantasies. for example in The SIMS you have a job and a house.
I`ll never forget what my dad said when I gave him the picture I drew and asked him to put on the refrigerator: "Wtf Dude, you`re 23."
The weekend is just a bittersweet memory.... I won`t cry because it`s over, I`ll smile because for a few miles they believed I was the real bus driver.
Just when I think my confidence couldn`t be shakier, some shitty website tells me I have a "Weak Password"
If “dress for the job you want” were true, there would be a lot more people wearing capes.
The truth might set you free, but lying might keep you out of jail.
I`ve upped my driving skills, no go Up yours!
"Has anybody ever seen a chicken fly? No? Good, there`s nothing wrong with ya"
With my luck, I’ll die and get reincarnated as myself.