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i dont normally have a cool facebook status, but when i do, an older relative spoils it with a lame comment.
I beat my chess opponent in less than five moves with the chair I was sitting on!
Group Therapy: listening to ALL your voices.
Plastic Surgery is Photoshop for people who go outside.
I`ve got this great new drinking game where you take a shot every time you want to get more drunk.
Sometimes I wish I could officially change "Hump Day" into "Smack-A-Dumb-Bitch-In-The-Face" Day.
Why do people post pictures of missing people on facebook?...like we are going outside.
My internet went down. By which I mean my neighbors changed their password.
You know it´s cold outside when during rush hour you get the mitten instead of the finger.
I would just like to personal thank all the people in my life that have caused me so many problems, for making me the as$ I am today!
I`m flattered that you took time out from your lack of a life to judge mine.
I`m like the toughest guy in this comic book store.
Ironman and Batman`s only super powers is being super rich and smart really makes Bill Gates a real disappointment.
In the trailer for the fourth Transformers movie a guy says "what the hell is that" when a Transformer approaches. THE FOURTH MOVIE!
I don`t mean to brag... but I`m a pretty damn good peek-a-boo opponent