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Alway be nice to anyone that has full access to your toothbrush.
"The more the merrier!" usually means "oh, you overheard us making those plans, huh?"
I’m at Code 5 today. I don’t know. It’s something this lady in the coffee shop said and I liked it. So now I’m using it, too.
I need coffee in my life more than I need most people.
I really hate it when someone else creates something that I haven`t had the chance to think of first...
Saying "I`m offended" is basically telling the world you can`t control your own emotions so everyone else should do it for you.
Wine doesn`t have many vitamins. That`s why you have to drink a lot of it.
I try to live every day as though it were my last, and who wants to do laundry on the last day they’re alive?
I am not sure, but I think I just heard my cup of coffee say, "You are my b*tch"
People who don`t understand sarcasm are awesome.
People who have more than 10 items in the express line… We see you and we are judging you.
All these women on the 48 dating sites I`ve joined, seem so f*cking sad and desperate.
It`s funny how as you get older you relate more to the villains in Disney than the Princesses.
Another year has passed. I`ve just about given up on the Mayans.
I`m not naughty ... I`m mischievously creative