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Carrots are a great thing to eat when you are hungry and want to stay that way.
The only thing wrong with eary mornings is being awake.
They say that nobody is perfect, then they say that practice makes perfect. I wish they`d make up their mind
Why is it called a "personal trainer", instead of an "exercist"?
Every once in a while I check up on people I hate to make sure I still hate them… I do.
Look in the mirror and tell me that God does not have a sense of humor.
Why would I pay someone to scare me at a haunted house when I could just open a can of biscuits at home?
I just realized that when I murder someone my neighbors will describe me as "quiet"
It`s a good idea to test your immune system from time to time by eating a gas station hot dog
So, which one of you is going to be the subject of your local news` annual turkey fryer accident story?
I`m never free but I`m available.
You ever think that maybe the reason geese are always honking is because they`re flying too close together?
just spilled alphabet soup on my keyboard. I`m so confused
Hillary Clinton is running for president. In other news, grass is green and the sun is hot.
In the South, they remove the `g` from the end of most words. Just sayin`.