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Chocolate is a flavor of milk, and milk is a flavor of chocolate.
If you rub two sticks together fast enough, you`ll eventually start a widespread panic on the subway.
That`s not chapstick in my front pocket.
I`m convinced that every time a sock goes missing from the dryer, it comes back as an extra tupperware lid.
Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food colouring. The doctor says I`m alright, but I feel like, well, like I`ve dyed a little inside.
If you can’t laugh at yourself, call me… I’ll do it.
Bipolar smile :(: ...... Gets um everytime !
is wondering why Facebook bothers to give the option of "liking" my own comment? Of course I like my own comments. I´m awesome..
So far, I am 100% at believing what happened next on Facebook links.
Don´t be stupid, it´s not smart.
I only get religious when scratching off lottery tickets.
I`m just 1 nap, 8 beers, 2 orgasms and my own personal robot away from this being the best day ever.
When I ask a girl I like why she and her ex broke up and she says "we just didn`t work out" I already know I have no chance since I hate working out
Any of you had a friend that borrowed your sh!t and kept it for so long you had to borrow it back..
I must have drank more than I thought last weekend...there`s an entire hour that I don`t remember!