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ah Saturday, where it`s socially acceptable to drink in the morning. ;)
I`ll be taking my time and yours,, thank you....... -- all 80 yr. old drivers
Please either stop being so attractive or make out with me, it`s your choice.
Oh the pranks I would pull if I were invisible
I drive everywhere but for some reason my shoes still wear out, itβs like thereβs just no reward for laziness.
I thought I was having deja vu, but it turns out I do the exact same things every day.
Marijuana is a type of flower, therefore I am a florist not a drug dealer :p
Why is there a Stairway to heaven and a highway to hell? There is a lot more traffic going to hell
The hardest question of the weekend.. can or bottle?
is it too late to wrap myself up like a baby and drop myself off on a billionaireβs doorstep
Baking soda seems like a scam. "Be sure to keep this box of magic white powder in the back of your refrigerator."
People that do stuff- whatβs your secret?
Benefits of hooking up with me: You will be hooking up with me. I could go on but I think I made my point.
My version of Heaven would be filled with all the things I`d probably go to hell for.
I am not lazy, I`m on power saving mode