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Sorry that offended you, I really didnโt think youโd get it.
I handle stress the way cats bathe in water.
Iยดm pretty sure I had a good time last night. Let me finish reading the police report and Iยดll let you know.
Ya know those scenes where the guy shoves everything off the table and throws a woman on it yeah I`ve only done that with pizza
Who ever said technology will replace paper.....has obviously never tried wiping their a$$ with an IPAD.
See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
When I`m not sleepy, I listen to some Chris Brown. That knocks me out right away.
When plastic bags become currency, I will be king.
My key to happiness is probably lost somewhere in the junk drawer.
Some days you`re the Titanic, some days you`re the iceberg, and some days you`re the guy who jumped off and hit a propeller on the way down.
This debate episode has to be the craziest Celebrity Apprentice I`ve ever seen!
I hate it when I tell someone I`ll be there in 10 minutes, but they continue to call me every half-hour anyway
I love the smell of a liquor store in the morning!
Hold on I`m about to count my money. Alright I`m done.
Life is too short for fake butter, cheese or people.