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I have short term memory. I also like to fish. Also, I have short term memory.
I love to do housework in the nude. Unfortunately for the neighbours, today I`m roofing.
If you are noticing this notice, you will have noticed this notice is not worth noticing
My phone just changed, `calendar` to `cake radar` and now I really wish I had that.
When I go to someone’s house & they tell me to make myself at home, the first thing I do is throw them out because I don’t like visitors.
Nothing says God is forgiving like hell.
I see you`ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
If ANY of my posts have made even one person’s day better, then there’s something seriously wrong with that person
I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then a voice in my head says “haha good one” and we laugh and laugh and take a nap.
Confucius would have been great at Status Updates......
I’m not a sore loser ... thanks to Vicodin.
It`s remarkable how much I can get done out of sheer spite.
I won employee of the month!!!…. again! I love being self employed.
Who needs Google when you’ve got a wife who knows it all?
I didn`t see anyone important today, so I`ll probably wear these same clothes tomorrow.