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my wish for tonight is for the person reading this status to have a Good Night!
Must be my day for Mis-Advertizing --- I just ate a Bowl of Cheerios ----- and they DIDN`T make me Happy!!!! FML!!! :-P
is frickin awesome! Nough Said.
If I lived in England I would approach my boss on payday and say "pound me."
It`s friday!! I smell vodka ;)
How many selfies does it take to get to the center of attention?
I never sign anything until I pretend to read it first..
Have you seen that new golf ball that will automatically go in the hole if it comes within 4in of it. DO NOT carry it in your back pocket!
Two of the most honest people in the world; drunk people and little kids
Sorry I`m late. I had five cups of coffee and became convinced I could probably bend a fork with my mind, so I had to give it an honest try.
Slightly used Christmas tree only one month old. Paid $60. Looking for $40. No low ballers. Serious inquiries only. Come on let`s get this thing done.
Why would a married man buy a hearing aid?
If I eat healthy today then I can have one piece of candy as a reward. If I eat unhealthy, then I can have the whole bag.
Wal-Mart: Because going to Target requires a shower.
When someone hands you a flyer, it’s like they’re saying here you throw this away.