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Maybe teenagers just aren`t strong enough yet to remove the sticker from their hat
If I could turn invisible I’d go to Paris and beat up a performing street mime… The amount of applause he’d get would be amazing!
Wait...so the "c-word" isn`t co-worker?
I wake up every morning with the joy & excitement of wanting to go directly back to sleep.
Went into a five-star hotel to use the bathroom and now it`s a two-star hotel.
Some people, even in photos, just look like they smell horrible.
Calm down ... Take a deep breath and hold it for about 30 minutes.
When I was a kid... No wait. I still do that.
If you see someone crying, ask them if it is because of their haircut.
All i ever see on facebook is LBR, TBH, LMS, and all that other crap...
They should just block cell phone service in movie theaters. Problem solved.
I`d get lost less frequently if GPS would say "no, your other left."
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either :)
Twerking is the crocs of dancing.
Multitasking (verb) - Screwing up several things at once.