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Taco Bell is donating burritos to feed firefighters in Colorado. Talk about putting gas on the fire,
My doctor said I needed to reduce stress. Great, now I have that to worry about.
People that use statistics in everyday arguments are a$$holes 100% of the time.
Seems like you could save a lot of time if you just paired The Bachelor with The Bachelorette.
Driving with your gas tank door open is the equivalent to having your zipper down.
Finger Prints on Super Bowl Trophy to be used in dozens of criminal investigations
Things I`ve learned: There`s no cool way to chase after a bouncing ping-pong ball.
With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
I miss that feeling you`d get at the video store when you discovered the movie you wanted to rent was available.
Someone just told me to "Have a good morning". What about the rest of my day mother f*cker?
And yet another year goes by with People magazine failing to recognize my beauty.
That moment when you pour yourself a bowl of cereal and discover there`s no milk. So you just sit there, wondering why bad things happen to good people?
Facebook account for sale, Friends included...
Save some time and just put your Taco Bell directly in the toilet.
It bothers me when I see tax money wasted on signs telling deer where to cross the road.