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A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
Relationships should come with an icon that shows you how much time you have left like your phone’s battery.
I don`t just sing in my shower, I perform.
In an alternate universe cats feed humans Lean Cuisines while muttering "I don`t know how you eat that sh!t".
I need an app that shows oncoming traffic on my touchscreen while I`m driving
A mistress is something between a Mister and a mattress.
Whats the definition of a tree? Something that stands still for forty years then suddenly jumps out in front of a woman driver.
Don`t talk to me until I`ve had my coffee, my breakfast, lunch, juice, dinner, and at least two glasses of wine.
So far, I am 100% at believing what happened next on Facebook links.
Best grilled cheese ever!! All I did was add a hamburger patty.
None of my girlfriends even know they`re dating me.
Proposing to a woman isn`t like choosing a life-long business partner. It`s more like hiring your own boss.
Serious question: Are doctors sure erectile dysfunction isn`t just a side effect of being married & bangin the same woman for years & years?
Welcome to Plastic Surgery Addicts Anonymous. I see a lot of new faces in the room this week and I`m very disappointed with all of you.
I`m going to stop off at the fabric store before my next status to get some new material!