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3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
A bee will knowingly risk its own life just to cause you a little pain. I can totally relate to that feeling.
It`s Friday! High-five some sh!t!
What is the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know, and I don’t care.
That awkward moment when you go for a run and your boobs start to bounce up and down.......and you`re a guy.
I just wanted to say thank you to all the people that have given me a reason to drink this Friday night.
I’m not so much goofing off as impersonating upper management.
If you attached a bunch of watches together to make a belt it would be a waist of time.
I could write an entire book on excuses,,, but I have to pick my grandma up at the airport.
Internet went down so I had to spend time with my family. They seem like good people.
Size does matter ... When ordering a pizza
Back in my day we rode our bikes without helmets and we turned out fine. And you know what else? Back in my day we rode our bikes without helmets and we turned out fine.
That awkward moment when the creepy guy in the white van doesn`t have candy...
If anyone lost a roll of hundred dollar bills,with a rubber band around it...I found the rubber band....
Words of Wisdom: Don`t cover your mouth when you sneeze. You`ll get snot and stuff all over your hands