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Nothing like responsibility to ruin a perfectly good day.
"Does my uniform make me look fat?" -Insecurity guard
I see you`re busy. I`ll come back later and ruin your free time.
Do you ever get that feeling that you are being watched? Because if it is bothering you, I can stop.
"Why yes, I`d love to be a thousand pounds." – my brain when I see a box of donuts
Just did a weeks worth of cardio after walking into a spider`s web.
Personality is 40% genetics, 40% upbringing, and 20% the last movie you watched.
It`s time for all of us to admit the "endorphin rush" you get after exercise is just an overwhelming sense of relief it`s over
I wonder if the two guys arguing over r2d2 and roadrunner ever get laid.
To be honest, I´m just fishing for compliments tonight.
Nothing says lazy like laying on the couch making today`s responsibilities tomorrow`s problem.
why do i feel like you are reading this
Stay positive ladies, maybe he just didn’t hear you the first 100 times.
I could scroll down my Facebook page and write a country song!!
Bartenders are basically professionals that we hire to poison us very slowly in creative ways.