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I just wanted you all to know that I’m leaving Facebook. This ride has been a blast and I’ve made a ton of friends who I really do consider friends in the truest sense. Your humor and wit is amazing. I’ll miss all of you, but I’ve decided I need to spend more time with my family. So... see you after breakfast
Mosquito landed on my friend`s face; easiest decision of my life.
It`s friday!! I smell vodka ;)
When I started out, I was young and idealistic, I wanted a Career and to make a difference in the World, but it turned out that I only wanted Paychecks........
I just saw a poster that said, "Have you seen this man?" with a number to call ... So I called the number and told them, "no."
It is a sad day when you go to all the trouble of getting a Frontal Lobotomy and no one notices.....................
My girlfriend left me because I`m a legend ... Or to quote her, `Arrogant`.
In retrospect, replying "Happy as a serial killer in a skin suit factory", probably wasn`t the best way to respond to my therapist.
I`ll give up my thesaurus when you pry it from my frigid, frosty, frozen, cadaverous, lifeless, stiff, defunct extremities.
“My phone’s about to die.” is what I say 30 seconds into every phone call. Just in case!
This would be a lot more fun drunk - Me, to everything.
If I was on drugs, this post would be amazing.
Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster.
My problem is, I`m about 30% stud, and 70% muffin.
I use sarcasm because flat out telling you you’re a moron is considered inappropriate and is frowned upon. And I was raised better than that.