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SINGLE GUYS: Nervous about flirting with a woman? Just remember: they`re smart, confident, and aware they don`t need us, so yeah, you should be worried.
To a woman, sexual harassment is when a man makes advances towards her. If a woman makes advances towards a man, we call that getting lucky.
Sometimes I get nervous I haven`t done anything with my life. But then something good comes on TV, and I`m OK.
That awkward moment when you go for a run and your boobs start to bounce up and down.......and you`re a guy.
If at first you don´t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
justin bieber
I quit my job and handed in my badge and gun to my boss, he said, why do you have a gun? You work at McDonald’s.
Last year I won a $50 gift card to Chili`s at a Christmas raffle. ...... This year I`ve decided my Secret Santa gift is going to be a $14.37 gift card to Chili`s.
Tomorrow is Valentines day, a holiday that comes along once a year to remind you that if you don`t have a special someone...I guess your alone.
I don`t think any of my vampire jokes will ever see the light of day.
If I’m not eating I’m most likely not happy.
Shopping at the Dollar Tree makes me feel rich and poor at the same time.
I may not be the smartest guy in the world, or the richest guy in the world, or the best looking guy in the world, but.... Oh, hell. Now I`m depressed.
Divorce... The most common home improvement project.
Years of education, solving tough problems, handling complex issues, yet we take a while standing before glass doors thinking whether to Push or Pull.