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Well kids, texting wasn`t always easy. In my day, you had to work for it. You had to want it. You need an S? You had to click that 7 button FOUR TIMES.
Snoring is just God`s way of ensuring women hate their husbands while they sleep too.
Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes and lottery tickets, are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?
I have no problem giving credit when credit is due. It’s giving payment when payment is due that I seem to struggle with.
I like when videogames limit how many things you can hold. "You have 100 items in an invisible bag. Carrying another would be unrealistic"
This status is mine....I licked it.
My reaction to winning a billion dollars wouldn`t even come close to my 10 year old`s reaction when I told him that there`s no school today.
I saw the city workers putting up a sign on my street and it says Bumpy road ... so I put up a sign that says ,, FIX IT !
I got a letter in the mail saying I was pre-approved for a Walmart Credit Card. Not sure if I should be honored or ashamed.
I`ve never watched a clown apply makeup but I imagine the process is similar to that of a Kardashian.
Why do people have to get ready for bed? I’m always ready for bed
Hawaii is a great place to live if you hate being eligible for contests.
I shake my bottled water so the H`s & O`s are evenly distributed.
I smiled and waved at my neighbour so I bet the first thing she`ll do today is buy bedroom curtains.
What is it about a car that makes people think we can`t see them pick their nose?