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Lets face it we have all tried to get something done before the microwave timer goes off.
I smile when I`m having dirty thoughts :)
I need to re-home a dog. It’s a small terrier and tends to bark a lot. If your interested, let me know and I’ll jump over my neighbors fence and get it for you.
My doctor prescribed me xanax instead of birth control pills I asked for. Now I have 9 kids, but I don`t care.
I never tell god how big my problems ,,, I tell my problems how big my god is
Definitely never want to own a small fruit stand in an action movie.
Hang out with different people everyday so the only person who knows you`ve been wearing the same outfit all week is you.
I think Facebook is the Malaysian plane of the internet. No one on here has been seen by their family in weeks.
I saw a Facebook ad for burial plots and I thought, that`s the last thing I need.
Some of us are basically unpaid Facebook interns.
99 Days Facebook Free? Big deal! In 1999 I went a whole year without Facebook.
According to serving sizes tonight, I`m a family of 4.
My status would be a lot funnier if you could see my back-up dancers.
thinks we should all jump out of our chairs and do the 5 second happy dance! READY! GO!
Got a new Juicer. Going to Juice all these delicious organic vegetables I got ... then add Vodka ... Don`t judge...