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I saw a guy today at Starbucks. He had no smartphone, tablet or laptop. He just sat there drinking his coffee. Like a psychopath.
I should probably eat this entire bag of Oreos tonight since they`re going to expire in 2017.
I know the voices aren`t real but they have some great ideas.
My "Do Not Disturb" facial expression is not working today.
Apparently there is no age limit on ignorance.
If your friends don`t make fun of you, they`re not really your friends.
My stalker twisted his ankle, so now I have to walk slower for 2-3 weeks.
FYI: You can buy wedding cake even if there`s no wedding, those suckers don`t even check
I can`t go to sleep if any of my apps need to be updated, but will drive my car with the check engine light until it explodes.
Pretending to be a functioning adult is exhausting.
You know there was a time in my life where I just didn`t give a f#ck.....funny how it seems that much hasn`t changed from an hour ago!!
Sometimes all you need is a hug or someone to tell you everything will be ok, or some rough sex or whatever....
It seems racist that they call it Black Friday just because a bunch of people are trying to get into stores in the middle of the night.
Illiterate? Well then sign up today for free online reading classes!
Is it ok to ask a very pregnant librarian if she`s overdue?