Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Let´s drink tequila till you don´t remember what I suggest next..
I`ve been starting my diet tomorrow for the last 20 years.
I will write something profound ... subsoil!
Your personality needs alcohol.
There’s always that one person that catches you doing something weird.
Who cares, WTF, OMG, so inappropriate, HOLY HELL ! Good LORD, not another selfie...WHOA NELLIE, NO, NO, and HELL NO!!! Me before unfriending someone.
I should eat more healthy, but we all saw how that whole apple thing went for Adam & Eve.
Statistically, I`ve come to the conclusion that I`m going to hell in multiple religions.
L`oréal`s mascara makes your lashes 60% longer? Wow! They should make condoms.
Don’t waste electricity. How would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?
Know why girls cross their arms when they`re angry? Boobs. Just a little reminder of who`s in charge around here.
The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content.
Without coffee, I’m just a really tall 2 year old.
My wife looks super hot without glasses. That’s why I stopped wearing them.
Bored? Simply send a text to a random number saying "I`m pregnant"