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Teamwork is just another way of saying we will soon be sharing in the blame equally.
WORST.... APOCALYPSE..... EVER.....
Pandas are proof that if you have a cute enough outfit no one will call you fat.
How do you know you`re old? ... Check your glove box for paper maps ...
You`d think the nerds on The Big Bang could fix that stupid elevator.
"You`re better than that" is almost never true
The sight of naked cleavage reduces a man`s ability to reason by 50% ... Per boob.
My living room is pretty much a fat camp without rules.
Each day is a gift, but some days are socks and underwear
I have never met a woman without wondering what her box of cookie recipes looks like.
I`m off to bed. For those of you who wish to add a touch of authenticity to your fantasies, the sheets are pale blue...
Cubs fans, you need to wait 107 more years. But don`t worry, 2124 will be here before you know it!
The beeping noise from microwave is always 100x’s louder at night.
Do girls that make duck faces in pictures walk in a V formation at the mall?
I can`t wait to miss the upcoming season of American Idol.