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umm umm u know that school where i got the degree from
Nothing makes me want to leave a website more than a pop-up window saying, “Are you sure you want to leave this page?”
I`m pretty sure all dogs can smell drugs. It`s just that most of them aren`t snitches.
My therapist cries "Why me?" for the full hour.
They should make a medal for anyone who uses an entire tube of chapstick without losing it.
**TORNADO WARNING** Everyone head to Giants Stadium. Safest place to avoid a touch down.
I`m about as lost as lesbian on ChristianMingle.com
There`s nothing like sitting by an open fire..watching the evidence burn.
I`ll be a morning person when it`s Christmas.
If your friends can accurately guess your age, you need to find dumber friends.
I might not be "Smarter Than a 5th Grader", but I can buy booze! Booyah!
The coolest tourist attraction in the world is the Sistine Chapel, because it`s full of ceiling fans.
Apple and Blackberry should team up and make a phone called the Pie.
United Airlines was just voted number one in Chinese takeout!
One of these days I’ll realize that leaning forward in my car while accelerating does not make it go any faster.