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Boobs: because you can`t suck on a girls personality
Boys are like roses, watch out for the pr!cks...
I forgot to pay my bill to the exorcist and so I got re-possesed.
To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the plus side, he makes great subway sandwiches.
I need medical attention, but I will settle for just regular attention.
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific
I wouldn`t pay for a personal trainer, but I would pay someone to just knock unhealthy food out of my hands.
If spiders ever come to the realization that people are terrified of them, we`re f*cked.
A real man should never wave faster than he says the word “hey”
Fitness? More like fitness whole cheesecake in my mouth.
What do we want? An end to auto-correct errors! When do we want it? Cow! Sow! Bow! Tow! Duck this...
If my jokes offend you: 1. I’m sorry. 2. It won’t happen again. 3. 1 & 2 are lies. 4. You’re a wussy.
My mind is like "LETS DO THIS SH!T" but my body is like "calm down motherf*cker"
I was going to give you a nasty look but I see you already have one!
This isn`t a bakery. We don`t sugarcoat sh!t