Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider doing it.
I inboxed a girl on Facebook and she never replied. I guess you could say we`re `seen` each other.
I like restaurants because the people have to be nice and feed you.
Dad: Son its a fact that masturbation can lead to blindness. Me: Dad... Im over here ..
FYI: Push-up bras don`t actually help you do more push-ups :(
How many different animals did we have to jump on the backs of before we discovered horses were cool with it?
You trust me holding your child? Do you know how many iPhone screens I’ve cracked?
The only hunger games i care about involve plastic hippos.
Suddenly my prison fantasy football league just got real.
My car is equipped with the best anti-theft device. I call it "No air conditioning".
The early bird gets the worm. But the second mouse gets the cheese.
Alcohol – The best night time: slurring, headache, dehydration, drink spilling, charm killing, so you think you can dance “medicine.”
How about this for lazy: I`m letting the NSA take all my selfies for me.
Anyone know how much snow is too much snow not to go to the liquor store?
When you are not happy and would like to go back to being young, think of Algebra!