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I didn`t want to grow up; I just wanted to be able to reach the cookies.
Remember kids, NEVER light fireworks. Let the adults, who have been drinking all day, light them instead!
Got bored today so I dressed up in tan pants and a blue shirt then went into Best Buy and quit.
I generally don`t hang out with people who are missing digits on their feet. It`s not that I`m a jerk. I`m just lack-toes intolerant.
I`m having one of those days where my middle finger is answering all my questions...
On average I spend $75 a year to watch bananas turn brown.
A slug is just a divorced snail.
Comment if you think I`m normal... Like this if you think I`m crazy... Copy this if you know your crazy too! And if your me... OMG TURKEY SQUIRREL! :)
If you lift up the handle on the car door at the same time I`m trying to unlock it more than two times, I`m driving off without you.
I`m just going to start wearing a shirt to work that says "I`m good, thanks for asking."
Sometimes when it rains I go outside with a cocktail umbrella and pretend I`m a Giant.
You`re telling me, a chicken fried this rice
If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize. I honestly didn’t think you could read.
Didn`t think my day could get any better but my robe has pockets so boom, there you go.
I`m starting to think that adult supervision is a myth. In fact, my eyes seem to be getting worse.