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I hate when I’m about to hug someone really sexy and then my face hits the mirror.
It`s nice to know I`m wanted....even if it`s only by the Police!
I`d try Taco Bell`s breakfast but I don`t start drinking that early.
Is it polite or rude to slide a note into the bathroom stall next to you that says, "heard you farting but it`s ok you`re in the right place :)"
There are so many scams on the Internet now these days, but for $19.95 I can show you how to avoid them.
I believe in equality. If we have five days of work, then we should have five day weekends as well.
He was like, `We`re all slowly dying` So I was like, `WRONG` and I threw him in front of a moving bus.
hmm ... I wonder what I´m thinking?
WTF, marathoners? I don’t even like to drive 26 miles.
I bet wrecking ball operators are some of the happiest people in the world.
The best black Friday deal ... sleep - $0.
It’s only Wednesday and I’m 95% done with this week.
Remember when phones were stupid and people were smart? hmm...
“Screw it” – My final thought before making most decisions.
I went somewhere earlier and saw a frog parked illegally and the poor thing got toad!!