Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I used to work at a fire hydrant factory. I couldn`t park anywhere near the place
There is no such thing as a stupid question, but there are such things as stupid people who ask questions.
Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until ALL the birds have gone South for the Winter.
If I lived in England I would approach my boss on payday and say "pound me."
I get you, anti-evolution people. I`m too lazy to learn science too.
Had a nice, relaxing weekend. I now have ample energy to hate Monday and most of Tuesday.
How do people dumb enough to buy $500 sunglasses make enough money to buy $500 sunglasses?
The closest I`ve come to being an athlete is using Adobe Acrobat.
Only a fool trips on what`s behind him.
If you aren`t sure if you like someone, here`s a test: imagine they`re dead. Now, was it an accident or did you murder them?
Things could be worse ... sex could be fattening
Opinions are like a$$holes: some people make money by posting them on the internet.
The best part of winter coming is that all the bugs are rotting in hell where they belong.
Please ignore this status, I am standing alone and I don`t want to seem like a total loner, so I am making it look like I am texting
Netflix basically has every movie, except for the ones I actually want to watch.