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If someone is uncomfortable watching you masturbate they; A. Have intimacy issues B. Are frigid C. Should sit somewhere else on the bus
To the people that post 15 pics of your kid everyday,your kid looks EXACTLY the same as they did ystrdy,and the day before,and the day before that
For all the taxes they take out of my paycheck they should at least send me a picture of the broke ass family I support to hang on my fridge.
Secret Admirers are just stalkers with good PR.
Sometimes I get so mad at myself for being too lazy that I don`t even do anything about it.
Can I have a free unlimited day trial of being attractive?
Can we just call it Zealand now? How long has it been? Move on people.
I hope Breaking Bad ends with Jesse waking up from a dream in the middle of Mr. White`s chemistry class.
Wow, I didn`t know my ex was into orgies until I saw the ad on Craig`s list I just posted.
When I first went on the pill, I put on some weight. Which proved to be a very effective contraceptive.
My house has really let itself go.
I`m not perfect, but I`m the best me there is or ever will be.
There is a 99.9% chance I am hungry.
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at him.
Is there really a need for constipation medicines and stool softeners in a world where burritos and tacos exist?