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LIFE TIP: The early worm gets dismembered, and eaten alive!
Don`t judge if you don`t know me. Unless you`re making my pizza & you say "This guy looks like he wants extra cheese" then please do..
Every year new words are added onto the dictionary, yet no new positions are added to the karma sutra.
Corduroy pillows?... They`re making headlines!....
If by "help you cook" you mean drink wine in the kitchen while you do the work, then yes, I`d love to help you cook.
My husband ran for 30 minutes on the treadmill. He`s told every other person on earth and I didn`t want y`all to be out of the loop.
Light travels faster than sound. That`s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Sometimes you can just tell it`s going to be a "Does not play well with others" kind of day.
Do you guys know there are "actual" people out there that don`t have a Facebook account? What the hell do they do all day?
Mirrors don’t lie. And, lucky for me, they don’t laugh either.
From 8am until 12pm, my job basically pays me to think about what I am going to have for lunch
I`m so glad my face doesn’t have a progress bar that shows how long it takes me to understand what someone is saying.
I wish the guy made of money in the Gieco commercial would ride his motorcycle through my town.
I`m just like you ... Only smarter and better looking.
I`m thinking of making a sax tape to make myself well known like some of the bad boys and girls do...does it matter if I can`t play it?