Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You seem to love cocktails... or part of it.
Girl: What`s the plan, get me drunk and take advantage of me. Boy: Good, you`ve done this before
I lent my girlfriend ten grand to get plastic surgery, and now she left me and I don’t know what she looks like.
If your significant other is mad at you, put a cape on them and say "Now you`re super mad!" If they laugh marry them.
Facebook is proof that people should not be allowed to name themselves.
If anyone every texts me “who is this” I always respond “Jake from state farm”
joined a nudist colony last week ... the first few days were the hardest!
It`s the little things in life that matter the most... for instance the refrigerator light, helping you to see that last beer way in the back!
is it just me, or did anyone else think that we would be living like the Jetson´s by 2011?
Chess says everything about men and women. The King has to take things one step at a time, while the Queen can do whatever the hell she wants.
Pregreening - creeping forward while waiting for a red light to change.
All my life I thought air was free… and then I bought a bag of chips. ^^
I`m surprised people still ask me if I want to hold their baby given the number of times I`ve dropped and shattered my phone
You`d think by episode 133 the Scooby Doo gang would know it`s a guy in a costume every time.
Yo fellas, how did that “wow” comment you left on that girls Facebook picture play out?