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So you`ll be able to buy Girl Scout Cookies online this year ... Your move Weight Watchers
Just watched a woman in front of me walk face first into a telephone pole because she was too busy looking at her phone. I could’ve given her a heads up, but then I wouldn’t have been able to watch her walk face first into the telephone pole.
A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When i quized him on it, he reckoned he could stop aaaany time . . . .
Of course it`s you. If it was me I wouldn`t even bring it up.
All the women moaning about finding a husband obviously never had one.
Wife is out of town until tomorrow night. Anyone wanna come sit on the other end of the sofa and ignore me?
Forget beauty sleep. I want skinny sleep.
Sometimes there just aren’t enough curse words.
I still dunno why they say cats have 9 lives. My cat only eats & sleeps all day long. It has no life at all!
We Should Have A Way Of Telling People Their Breath Stinks Without Hurting Their Feelings. Like: "I`m bored, let`s go brush our teeth"
To skip any youtube ad just change ‘youtube’ to ‘youtubeskip’ in the url of any video. You’re welcome.
I took a sexual harassment course today, I think this is actually something I might be pretty good at
Can you imagine being cryogenically frozen and waking up 100 years later? Your hairstyle would be so outdated, how embarrassing.
Frozen water balloon fights... not a good idea.
I haven`t seen any new Bigfoot pictures in a while... I hope he`s OK.