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School taught me a lot of stuff, but the most useful was how to get ready in 15 minutes
I feel like there’s something missing in my life and I don’t know if it’s a person, a dog, or just a pizza.
A fairy godmother but for breakups. She takes your phone and leaves alcohol and possibly your first cat.
Yeah but why do they call him Bigfoot if both of his feet are the exact same size
Mrs Bieber.... WHY U NO USE CONDOM?
There`s no easy way to tell someone you lost their kid in a high stakes game of duck duck goose.
The old saying "I wouldn`t wish this on my worst enemy"... Clearly you have forgotten why they are your worst enemy.
Happy National hear fireworks all day and night set off by Drunk People you wouldn`t trust with a Glo-Stick Day.
If I get an e-mail from you that says "Sent from my Blackberry" at the bottom, please understand that I`m not going to respond. I can only assume that you sent it in 2006.
Why,does facebook want to make the likes one gets on their status like a story,like:peter and 500 others like this,click and see james and 499 others like this............
"Bros before hoes" is something a bro without a hoe would say.
Eleventeen percent of the population makes up words.
I bet my road rage will be taken seriously once I get a car.
Next time I`m on an elevator with four or more strangers, I`m going to turn around and say, "I`m sure you`re wondering why I`ve gathered you all here."
You must be a parking ticket or something for the word FINE is written all over you.