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I`d rather run into the four horsemen of the apocalypse than a group of women out on a "girls` night."
I`m in a good place right now. Not emotionally....just that I`m at the liquor store.
Dogs lick each other`s butts to tell each other they like them. Just like politicians
Just like our bodies, our minds need exercise. That`s why I think of jogging every morning.
I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.
All my biological clock does, is let me know when it`s time to eat again
Cut out the middleman and just list 911 as your emergency contact.
There are other things in life besides sex and alcohol. Those other things all suck, but they do exist, I assume.
1st thing I do after great sex! Turn the alarm clock off.........
Etc... A word used to make others believe that you know more than you actually do
The guy who named the "chimichanga" should be given more authority to name things.
I just want to be rich enough to pay people to not talk to me.
I took two years of Spanish in high school, so ordering off the Taco Bell menu is super easy for me.
USB sounds like a backup in case the USA fails.
I’m usually that person who has no idea what’s going on.