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You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.
As a child, you dream of adventure, travel & success. As an adult, a lot of the time, you just hope the toilet flushes.
My worst fear is seeing one of my statuses marked as "exhibit A"
"Mary had a little lamb. That`s had." - the wolf
If kids get money for losing teeth, what do I get for all this hair Iām losing?
My 13yo just dumped his girlfriend and now he`s attempting to get his hoodie back. He`s in for one hell of a life lesson.
Don`t hide your feelings. Hide the evidence.
I was told there would be kool-aid.
Apparently typos only become visible to the human eye after you hit send.
Helping my kid study for her geology exam, and apparently `hard` `classic` and `punk` are not the 3 different types of rock.
If at first you don`t succeed, you`ll get a lot of free advice from folks who didn`t succeed either.
"If your reading this, I think your awesome!"
Most hated song in jail: "Bad Boys, Bad Boys, whatcha gonna do when they come for you"......
funny status idea: a funny and popular one