Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Corduroy boxing gloves deliver the best punchlines.
So a year ago today I asked a really beautiful friend out on a date and today I asked her to marry me. She said no both times.
When a guy texts a girl “hey stranger”, what he really means is “I’ve recently thought about trying to get in your pants again.”
When listening to skinny girls talk about losing weight it`s perfectly reasonable to battle cry then karate chop their tiny stomach`s.
Does everyone have that one dumb ass that finds you on Facebook and will not give up? Repeated friend requests, inbox messages, and follows my pages. It is driving me nuts. I understand at some point I will have to give in, but just because I am married to her doesn`t mean I have to like her, right?
My stomach just growled so hard I thought I was getting a text message.
Just saw a homeless guy sleeping in a box and it was surrounded by bubble wrap. It must be his alarm system.
Why did the mushroom go to the party because he was the fungi
I don’t understand decaf coffee. It’s like sex without the sex.
I admit ive been known to wrap bacon in bacon just for the extra bacon flavor
Horoscopes: When you don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend to blame for your failures, try the solar system
The awkward moment when you realise you’re wrong in an argument, but you keep arguing anyway.
Let’s just call a vacation what it is: the opportunity to live like an alcoholic for a little while.
Several years ago Facebook came in to our lives forever changing our ability to judge each other from our couches.
You call it reckless driving, I call it searching for my lighter.