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I end a sentence with "just sayin" because ending it with "dumbass" would be offensive.
I bet Waldo`s parents are worried sick.
Our parents always taught us NOT to write on walls... Facebook teaches us differently
Do you ever just look at a girl and instantly know she posts her daily horoscope on Facebook and quotes Marilyn Monroe?
One day when I was at the beach there was a guy in the ocean yelling, "Shark! Help!" And I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn`t going to help him.
Admit it...Life yould be boring without me.
wants my 260 FB friends to know I love you all..except #193
One day, people are gonna write songs about the nap I`m about to take.
It`s everyone`s favorite holiday season where we try to guess if that was a firework or gunshot
You said you wanted my advice, but I see you haven’t f*cked off or died yet.
Worried that you may have a stalker? Shut up and just be happy someone likes you.
You can usually judge a women`s hotness by how many times your girlfriend calls her a whore.
It would be funny if the husband is actually sleeping with the Jake from state Farm.
People who say you can´t buy happiness just don´t know where to shop.
I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and crap a better status than yours!