Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
There’s a wild side to EVERY innocent face.
United States is where moms get a day and shark get a whole week.
I need plastic surgery to fix whatever it is about my face that gives people the impression I want to hear about their relationship problems.
I need coffee in my life more than I need most people.
I thought white noise was the sound of people complaining at Starbucks.
Kids today don`t know what hardship is. When I was younger I sometimes had to wait ALL DAY for MTV to play my favorite video.
I`m a bad multitasker and even a questionable monotasker
Has anybody tried unplugging Congress and then plugging it back in?
"Nothing is impossible." I disagree. I`m doing nothing right now... it`s totally possible.
Why is it always "I see you drank all the beer today!" instead of, "Oh, honey, that was so sweet of you to help clean out the refrigerator."
I`m tired of people assuming I`ve got a good personality because I`m ugly.
Cleaning a house while toddlers are in it is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos.
Some days I just wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.
I prefer to think outside the box because things can get very dark inside it.
Shouting "Not it!" should still make us exempt from doing anything that we don`t feel like doing.