Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth
Do people smoke e-cigarettes after sexting?
Admit it, you should be doing something else really important right now but your on Facebook again.
Just like our bodies, our minds need exercise. That`s why I think of jogging every morning.
I won’t come to your party unless you have an animal I can spend the whole time hanging out with.
I like how flies rub their hands together like tiny criminals
Alcohol goes in ... Happiness comes out.
I went for a run tonight. Sure, it was a beer run, but I did break a sweat.
If there`s no gravity underwater, why do mermaids need those seashell bra`s?
You know you are in trouble when your mom screams your whole name.
I just got an email telling me how I can have fuller, firmer breasts. I can`t wait to show them to my wife!!
GF - What`s that beeping? Me - Fasten Seatbelt Alarm. GF - How can you ignore something so annoying? Me - Huh?
Treat your mom to a margarita this mothers day! Remember you`re the reason she drinks.
There are two key elements to success. 1) Never tell anyone everything you know.
I don’t think my neighbor watches porn. She asked if I could fix her sink. I’ve been here for an hour and I’m still fixing her sink.