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Girls who say "alot of guys are after me" should keep in mind that cheap things always attract many customers.
The only "B" word you should call a woman is "beautiful"... B!tches love being called beautiful.
That horrible feeling you get when you`re not asleep anymore.
Never trust a skinny chef
Damn your Hott!...........................Freaking Sun! lmao =P
If a girls tongue being pierced really mattered, then I would have my palm pierced!
The bottle of Pepto Bismol say’s 4 out of every 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one of them enjoys it?
I just bumped into my old headmistress who said how weird it is to see me all grown up now. Surely it would be weirder if I was still 9.
I`m a crabby a$$ bitch before my coffee ... and after
Let`s be honest. The only reason you listen to your voice-mail messages is to make the stupid icon disappear
You’d be amazed how often I’m wrong when people say guess what.
this isn`t the status you`re looking for
Sidenote #2: Always have your middle finger ready on standby.
Is a bath relaxing for Michael Phelps, or does he just feel like he is at work?
I love watching The Simpsons. They never get old.