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What a rip-off. I picked up a book called 101 Mating Positions. It turned out to be a book on chess.
Doctor: How`s your headache? Patient: She`s out of town.
I use to be addicted to soap, but now I`m clean
The only thing I understand about Algebra: I look at my X and I wonder Y
Every novel is a mystery novel if you never finish it
The best curve on a girl is her smile ;) ... Lol just kidding!
Someday you may lose your hair, you may lose your teeth, your money and even lose your mind. But one thing you will never lose – your good looks, coz you can never lose what you don’t have!
It`s shocking how much unhappiness is caused by the pressure to be happy.
I Hope I can make it through another season of disagreement over the pronunciation of pecan.
I`m never free but I`m available.
Hey, sorry I missed your call. I saw your name on the caller ID and I didn’t want to ruin my day by talking to you.
I do love you for your mind, I just like your mind a lot more when you’re naked.
If your parachute doesn`t deploy, you have the rest of your life to fix it.
Some people are just beautifully wrapped boxes of crap.
It is impossible to look cool while holding onto a leash attached to a dog who is taking a crap.