Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Laughter is the best medicine but if you are laughing without any reason, I think you need medicine
I hate people that take drugs, specially U.S. Customs and the D.E.A.
I just responded to a text message with: I can`t hear you, you`re breaking up.
Don`t waste your time being difficult. Put forth a little more effort and be impossible.
Hey, how long are you supposed to chase someone after they steal your wallet? Cause I`m getting tired of running and he`s catching up to me.
If at first you don’t succeed, look in the trash for the instructions.
It could be worse. Spiders could have wings.
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
Car commercials make driving around in empty parking structures look fun and normal and not suspicious or kidnappy.
If you needed to wear camouflage in a gingerbread house, would you wear ginger snaps?
I don’t care if it’s 1 A.M. I don’t consider it “tomorrow” until I wake up.
I know I am an acquired taste. If you don`t like me, you need to acquire some taste. Or go f*ck yourself. Whichever.
I thought kegels were like Jewish bagels
Fun Fact: Over 97.8% of men have already made mistakes this year that a woman will remind him about for the rest of his days.
New Game: Attach a mustache to your TV. Drink every time it lines up with someone`s face.