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They sell Harvard shirts at Target so that’s a good way to save $ 399,984.05.
I wanna see Mythbusters do the bible.
Teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant
Women are fascinated by mythical creatures like unicorns, vampires, and men who are good listeners.
The way dogs get excited when you throw a tennis ball is the way I feel about my first beer after work.
Why is it that the instant I buy new chap stick, the old one magically reappears?
I`m so bored at work that I`m actually doing my job.
You can`t make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them & hope they panic & give in.
Sometimes giving someone a second chance is like giving them an extra bullet for their gun because they missed the first time.
wassup pips! :-) no i don`t mean you guys pip, get it? piping?? haaahaaa... looks like i`m the only one laughing right? well it sounded funnier in my head (-_-)
I`ve made up my mind, I`m not giving up anything for Lent, I`m no quitter...
Real friends show me their boobs
I hate people who take drugs ... Customs for example.
You know, rumor has it that the Mona Lisa may have been the first selfie.
"I’m definitely going to do that tomorrow.” — Me being delusional