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I sleep better when I`m naked why can`t my boss understand this?!
the jeremy kyle show, the only place you`ll see a six month old baby with more teeth than thier parents
Doing absolutely nothing on the weekends has started to feel more fun than actually going out.
I think salads help you lose weight because they`re gross and you end up not eating them
Pretty much always 3-5 seconds away from just laying down wherever I am.
Perfect has 7 letters and so does meeeeee ....Coincidence? I think not.
The bright side of getting attacked by a Cyclops is only having to use half the pepper spray.
When everything else fails... you always have delusion.
A guy at work calls me "Partner" and another guy calls me "Chief". Apparently we`re playing Cowboys and Indians and I`m a double agent.
Hey whiny kids with iPhones: when I was your age, I played with a stick.
Get ahead of myself. Sometimes I
I used to eat natural food, until I heard people were dying of natural causes
My newsfeed looks like a cross between a Civil War Soldier and ZZ Top photo album.
why we do not have a romance class...............
Ways to Win my Heart: Buy me Beer Bring me Beer Be Beer.