Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Facebook is like Chinese food. When you think you had enough, you want more.
Never sit down in front of the computer while having breakfast because when you get up it’ll be dinner time.
Hair growing from my ears and nostrils doesn`t mean I`m getting old, right? Means I`m turning into a werewolf! Right?
I really wish Walmart had a 10 teeth or more line...
I`m an adult. I can eat a cupcake for breakfast & call it a muffin if I want
There really should be awards for getting out of bed.
My friend says to me, "What rhymes with orange?" I said, "No it doesn`t."
is a mystery you´ll never solve
The best things in life can`t be seen or touched. At least, that`s what the restraining order says.
If you think my status updates are ridiculous you should see my life choices
It doesn`t matter if you don`t like my personality... I have several more!
I wonder if the earth teases other planets for having no life.
I like to refer to myself as a "Second-hand Vegetarian". Animals eat grass. I eat animals.
Worst part about getting a phone call is the 12 seconds you can`t use your phone as you wait for it to stop ringing.
Hell is having a married couple tell you a story at the same time.