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At least men and women agree on one thing, they both don’t trust women.
If your man is reluctant to talk about his feelings, it’s probably because you haven’t told him what they are yet.
Your day sucked, huh? I`m sure Facebook would love to hear about it.
It doesn´t matter if the glass is half empty or half full. There is clearly room for more alcohol.
Starbucks announced guns are no longer allowed in their stores. Seems crazy banks didn`t think of this.
Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over? You were driving 80 miles an hour. Driver: "No way; I ain`t even been on the road an hour."
I can`t be the only one who thinks "Game on, mother f*cker" when I see an air freshner in a bathroom.
Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.
I ordered a pizza when my wife went into labor. Thad ad said, "buy a pizza, and get free delivery.
Why buy it for $7 when you can make it yourself with $92 worth of craft supplies.
I`m so proud of myself, I spent all night putting my Christmas decorations up myself.. I`m now at the hospital having them removed
October is breasts cancer month. I stare because I care.
Im really not just some idiot with nothing better to do with my time, I just play one in FB.
Just killed a cricket at work, and, long story short, I`m now being asked to audition for Riverdance.
My ID expired so I can only go to the liquor store where they remember me: The one where I asked the cashier out and threw up on the floor.