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Turkish ruler Erdogan was at the White House this week. Sources say he arrived very early so he could beat the crowd.
My spouse thinks I`m crazy. But I`m not the one who married me.
We live in a world in where it is easier to get out of a marriage than a mobile-phone contract
Just been informed that my spirit animal is Eeyore.
Meanwhile on Facebook, someone has made a casserole...
Sitting in the cinema, ready to watch the movie, then BOOM! The human giraffe sits in front of you
I would be okay with a ghost in the house if it at least moved a vacuum around the floors once a week.
Every job in the world should require their employees to enter and leave work in a Soul Train line.
Every time I think I finally have the life I always dreamed of....I wake up.
Relationships always start out as "You`re smart and funny." and end up as "You think you know everything and it`s all a joke to you!"
I don`t have to run faster than the lion. I just have to run faster than you.
Only awesome people are allowed to ‘LIKE’ this status!
Meanwhile one million men got to enjoy a quiet afternoon at home without anyone nagging them.
OMG, what a day I had. If Monday was a guy, I`d punch him in the throat!
“I’m sorry” and “my bad” mean the same thing… Unless you’re at a funeral.