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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God or man has rested.
Email: 8 character min, including 1 upper, 1 lower, 1 number, 1 special character. ATM card: 4 numbers
I’ve been a sucker for boobies since the day I was born.
Are you bored? Head over to Walmart, go into a fitting room, shut the door, wait awhile, and then yell very loudly, `Hey! There`s no toilet paper in here.`
That`s not chapstick in my front pocket.
I forgot to make a resolution, so I`m pretty much going to just write out everything I did last night and add the word "stop" to the beginning.
Facebook is serious. I put more thought into whether or not to accept a friend request than whether or not to sleep with someone.
When you’re old, my kids will be in charge. I’m so, so sorry.
My girlfriend was complaining last night that I never listen to her. Or something like that.
I`m the type of person that would thrive in solitary confinement.
I just threw a piece of food on the floor of my cubicle. Totally forgot my dog doesn`t work here.
You don`t appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things, like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
Welcome to my bedroom,this is where the magic happens.....and by that I mean this is where I read my Harry Potter books.
I wonder if I´ll ever be mature enough to use a stud finder without first pointing it at myself and saying "THERES ONE." -same guy, you`re british.
The weather is so nice. I think I’ll go outside and watch other people run.