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I watched Americas Got Talent for 15 minutes and I beg to differ.
Playing Frisbee with a five year old is amazingly similar to just running after a Frisbee.
Shhh...you had me at "alcohol may intensify effect..."
I have been left unsupervised yet again. This usually leads to trouble & other bad things, please have bail money ready and keep your phone on.
Father: Earlier you used to call me papa but now dad, why? Daughter: Come on dad, calling you PAPA spoiles my lipstick.
People are like music, some speak the truth and others are just noise.
The difference between cheating on your wife and cheating on your taxes is if you tell the truth, the IRS still wants to f*ck you.
Hey bartender, pour me another, I see ugly people.
my boss told me to start the presentation with a joke,so I showed my payslip.
Be careful on how tough you are on your kids....Strict parents create sneaky children.
I hate it when I see some old person and then realize that we went to school together
The real trouble with reality is that there`s no background music.
My number was 0...
Being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible
Back in the day, Mom gave us two dinner choices. What she cooked or jack sh!t....